22
Jun
10

White Ex Boyfriend & Black History Month

I don’t know about everyone, but my ex’s are CRAZY!

Yesterday, an ex, we’ll call him Weasel, hit me up out of the blue.  Weasel (who’s parents are/were racists while we were together) sends me a facebook message asking me if Black History Month (BHM) was really necessary.

I ask him why he would ask me such a question and he replies:

Weasel: Cause I think you’ll actually give me constructive feedback where as other people give me the same old “white people have the rest of the year!” BS.

Samantha: Nope, I celebrate it like a national holiday.

Weasel:  Didn’t it serve it’s purpose?

*Wow.., Can’t believe I dated him.  He claims to understand the black struggle because he was the minority for a year or two in high school. SMH*

I'm down... I'm hip... I'm one of you! SMH

So, initially, I’m fuming!  I’m not generally hung up on race.  It would have been stupid to get mad every time someone said something racist to me (I am from Warrensburg, Missouri after all), but when it is someone that is supposed to “love” you (which he claims to do), then it really does strike an emotion.

I explain to him the many reason BHM is important, my main reasons being because it is generally the only time young people get to learn about black culture.  It’s equally important for young people of every race to hear about it.  We all know it doesn’t make up a lot of the curriculum.

Black History Month

I went on to explain to him that he needs quickly revise his train of thought because even though he has what I call “bigot tendencies” he is still only attracted to black women.  He always has these little racist comments.  For example… I just recently cut all my hair off and went natural.  He says.. “you should go back straight because i like good hair!!” insinuating that the natural curls that (are quite soft by the way) grow from my head are BAD hair!  (Thats why black women have f’ed up self images.)

Someday, he may very well find himself as the father of some biracial children and he’s going to have to fully nurture both parts of that child’s culture.  There are a lot of young biracial children out there who have terribly low self-esteem because  there is no one to teach them better.  If the parent has no respect for the other half of their DNA, than the child will learn to resent the black and visa versa.  Children can’t be raised thinking that they are less than because they are mixed.

He completely brushes past all of that to give me some more B.S.
Weasel:  What about the Asians?  They were treated badly too.

Samantha:  Yes they were.  There is Asian American Month just like there is Mexican American Month.

Why would he want to have this conversation with me?

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4 Responses to “White Ex Boyfriend & Black History Month”


  1. 1 kitsunefirepaws
    June 22, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Wwooooooooooooww. It really amazes me that people in our generation still think like that. I keep telling myself, “with every generation comes a little more equality.” Maybe the people of our grandchildrens’ generation will have to look up ‘racism’ in the dictionary 🙂

  2. 2 Clarence
    June 27, 2010 at 5:44 am

    Actually you SHOULD be glad he had that conversation with you.
    I don’t know your feelings on race, class, sex, etc, but its something that everybody who has a partner who is not of their “kind” struggles with.

    Plus, better to know now if you are compatible than later.

    And lastly, I don’t think he’d open up to you if he didn’t value you as a person. Despite your offense perhaps in some way you could look at it as a good thing that you got to help explain your point of view to him and that he was curious enough to ask about it. Do you really expect him to agree with you about everything related to race, and do you really think he should or could understand your experiences without asking you about them and maybe challenging you about them in his own fumbling way?

    If you two remain friends, I predict it will be a tight friendship because you won’t have secret bigotries from each other.

    Clarence

  3. June 30, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Gr8 point Clarence, I concur! Good post…especiall the Boondoack cartoons! Love me some Boondocks. Also, just remember (as a fellow black woman) that sometimes it’s TIRING to explain your culture to people who can NEVER truly understand you experience. I pick and choose my battles and often, I prefer not to have the conversation. No good ever comes of it, I just end up pissed off and the other person is more confused and asks a long string of questions that get stupider and stupider…lol. Hopefully, your ex learned something.

    • June 30, 2010 at 8:00 pm

      Yea, i definitely decided that he shouldn’t be coming to me with these conversations. Especially because we broke up because his family didn’t approve.

      And I doubt he’ll learn anything… he’s not the type to listen.

      Don’t know why he wanted to ask me anyway. It couldn’t have possibly been a respect thing. If he respected me, he would saw that as something that could very well be hurtful to me as a black woman.


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